i barfeds in our rink
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
