Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
