I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
