im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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