You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize