Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize