We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
