My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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