The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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