Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
