I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night