I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
