You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
