I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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