Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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