I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
