Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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