he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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