I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
