I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
