i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I could fuck to npr.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
