Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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