what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin