I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us