she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.