I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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