I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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