I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
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he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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