After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize