He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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