I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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