I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're like the curious george of whores
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
