I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
