i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
