So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize