I'm drive I can fine osifer
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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