but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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