Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
