The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
