my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
