it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
