I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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