Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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