i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
