period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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