i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.