Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...

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(310): I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on... http://tfl.nu/l298

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(614): View more from Ohio

see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy

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(614): see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy http://tfl.nu/v81p

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(512): View more from Texas

Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic

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(512): Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic http://tfl.nu/ja5d

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

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(705): Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world. http://tfl.nu/0fm4

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(917): View more from New York City

we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.

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(917): we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender. http://tfl.nu/r1fg

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(630): View more from Illinois

She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.

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(630): She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving. http://tfl.nu/1pg2

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(850): View more from Florida

2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.

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(850): 2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers. http://tfl.nu/i0nm

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

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(920): I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat http://tfl.nu/rpn1

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(949): View more from California

I have no words

(951): View more from California

Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.

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(949): I have no words (951): Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water. http://tfl.nu/wxcd

Replies (19) Good night (945) Bad night (2236)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.

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(919): I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting. http://tfl.nu/i095

Replies (9) Good night (1493) Bad night (357)
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(425): View more from Washington

Wanna skype?

(1-425): View more from Washington

Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.

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(425): Wanna skype? (1-425): Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no. http://tfl.nu/gc87

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(914): View more from New York

Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.

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(914): Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs. http://tfl.nu/123h

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(614): View more from Ohio

We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid

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(614): We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid http://tfl.nu/h9fh

Replies (12) Good night (1530) Bad night (526)
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(214): View more from Texas

I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay

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(214): I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay http://tfl.nu/b2gf

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?

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(507): Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at? http://tfl.nu/qw84

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