That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
