the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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