I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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