i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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