First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
