I'm lost and stupid without you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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