when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I look better un-naked...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
