Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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