I'll bet she douches with gravy.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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