Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
