i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
