Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
