why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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