When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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