hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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